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Intertwined are the Moon and Sun – II

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Issue 3
Intertwined are the Moon and Sun – II

Issue 3

December 19, 2022January 30, 2023

Intertwined are the Moon and Sun – II

Aude

A woman faces a mirror. She has long black hair and is wearing a blue robe with red stars on it. In the mirror she sees an orange monster looking back with long, tentacle-like arms that come out of the mirror.

The text says: It is weird how the body that I continue to live in, to this day, still feels like a painful, dismorphic enemy. But not the ordinary type of enemy – one that I can’t help but continue to polish, year after year. One part of me accepts the overly feminine aspect of it, and another part of me wishes it didn’t exist at all. This carcass is burning me, from the bones to the joints, via supposedly intimate parts that feel like a curse.

This page contains three panels. In the first panel is an outline of a person’s body with black scribbles inside. Text on the left side of the body reads: Outer shell – 100% feminine appearance – an obsession and creation by the white coats. On this side of the body are images of yellow stars, a pink bow and a white medical coat. Text on the right side of the body reads: inner chaos – dirty little secret. On this side of the body is an image of the orange monster, surrounded by flames, behind a medical screen.

In the second panel, there is an image of a woman with long black hair wearing red pants and an orange shirt, suspended. Crossing over the image is the same outline of the woman, but it is all black and contains space with stars. The image creates the illusion of the person being empty inside.

Text above panels one and two reads: Of course, the journey hasn’t been linear, neither physically nor psychologically, and my body and I have experienced many phases throughout this unfortunate lifelong journey.

The text with panel three reads: In addition to the phases, you also have the diverging opinions when it comes to the partnership between my body and I.
Panel three contains three images labelled ‘What people see’ ‘what doctors see’ and ‘what I see’. What people see – an image of a woman wearing feminine, flowery clothes. What doctors see – a success story, a trophy and medal saying number 1. What I see – a body filled with the words ‘lie, lie, lie’.

An image of the same body all in black with stars. The body is taking off its human suit. The text reads: But one thing is for sure: What is it even, to be in this world when told you’re a terrible mistake.

Image of the black body with stars walking off the page. Left behind is the discarded human suit crumpled on the ground. In the background is a rising sun. The text reads: On most days, my body and I live side by side. And I’m not sure we will ever manage to be one. Sometimes I just want to be free from a painful body that doesn’t feel like mine.

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I'm not afraid of my truth anymore... You can call me Shivol

Conexión: Carta a Free, la otra parte de mí

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