My story of love and connection
Paloma
Approximately 7 years ago, I began to communicate with a young woman named Marcela, originally from the Municipality of El Fuerte, Sinaloa—the town where I grew up belongs to that municipality.
Initially, the interactions I had with her were through social media (Facebook). At first the conversations were short. I would write to her, “Hi, how are you? How’s it going?” and she would be slow to reply. Sometimes she would reply to me the next day or sometimes would take days to reply. This was our communication for about 8 months. Then, little by little, communication began to flow more and more, and over time we developed a beautiful friendship. We exchanged phone numbers, and we also communicated by calls and WhatsApp messages. The messages no longer took days to be answered but minutes.
I always liked her. My intention when interacting with her through messages and calls was to conquer her heart, because she is a beautiful woman in every way. Although at first it was difficult to start a friendship because she didn’t seem to be interested in me, over time the trust and friendship between us grew.
At that time, I was doing an oil painting for a friend. Every time I was progressing in my painting, I would send photos to her so she could give me her opinion. I had to finish the painting quickly, because a cousin who was on vacation in Sinaloa was about to leave, and he was going to do me the favor of taking the painting to my friend since he lived in the same city. All day I worked hard to finish the painting, so I didn’t pay attention to my cell phone. She sent me messages constantly but when I paint, I don’t like to interrupt what I’m doing, and I stopped answering her messages. Some time passed and she sent me a message in which it seemed that she was complaining about me not answering her, for not being aware of her messages. From what she wrote, it seemed that she also liked me and was interested in me, so I understood that there was the possibility of trying to have a relationship beyond friendship.
Shortly after, we agreed to meet in person for the first time. We arranged to meet in a city called Los Mochis, Sinaloa. Days before we met, I told her that I must tell her something very personal, but I was afraid of how she would react. What I wanted to tell her was that I was born with an intersex variation called congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), and that I had certain differences in my body, including differences in my genitalia. In my case, I didn’t undergo genital surgeries in childhood and I keep my body intact.
On the day of the meeting I felt nervous but I also felt excited because I was finally going to see her in person. As a gift, I brought her a very beautiful red flower, and after meeting and greeting each other we went to a restaurant to eat. There I told her my feelings for her and I told her about my intersex variation. I was so surprised to see that there was no reaction of rejection or astonishment from her. She only said that she didn’t care about that, that she liked to talk with me and that we would give ourselves the opportunity to have a romantic relationship.
At the beginning of the relationship, I thought she wouldn’t accept me since we are very different: I have CAH and she doesn’t, she is a very feminine woman and I’m not, she likes to go out to meetings and parties with family and friends, and I am more reserved.
But it wasn’t like that. She likes my body as it is, and she never makes negative comments to me nor questions me, and she also likes my way of being. We complement each other very well. Currently, our relationship is stable, and I feel accepted and blessed that we are together. On 11 June 2022, we celebrated 7 years together, and we are already thinking about having children and starting a family.
I am a happy person and I enjoy what I do. I believe that nothing is impossible when you want and yearn to get what you desire so much.
This piece is a translation of the Spanish text – Mi historia de amor y conexión.