Untangling
Max Aurora
How do you write a song about untangling?
The stages and denial undone
A tidal wave returning with every tide
To sit with the emotion each time
How do you write a song about untangling?
The storm fronts inside of your brain
One of the old gripping to remain
Another a place asking for change
This is my untangling
How do you ask for help when you’re alone?
To reach out in the dark and answer the phone?
Over the years, I’ve been told no
Stay where you are, be what you’re told
This is my untangling
When I look in my drawers
Do I like what I see?
Could I dare dream the thought,
That this isn’t me?
This is my untangling
This is my…
I stare at the valley
At twilight and dawn
My eyes wide open like a fawn
The patterns unfolding
Help me convalesce
I am intersex and have a variation called ‘XX testicular difference of sexual development’ or ‘XX male’ for short. I wrote these lyrics one urgent night when I decided to change from being on Testosterone HRT to Estrogen. Very soon later I turned it into a song (which will be released in late 2024).